Making a bold executive decision, I told Nancy Leson, "The last thing anyone needs this Thanksgiving is another how to make gravy story. Not all the turkeys are on the table; Some are sitting around it. Let's talk about what honks off the hosts."
At the top of that list is cellphones — people texting and talking right at the table. Fortunately, I have a solution. And I got it from the drug cartels.
I'd read about a drug kingpin who'd arrive at a fancy restaurant and have his henchmen collect all the customers' cells. When finished, they'd return the phones, pay everyone's tab and vanish into the night. If you're plagued with table texting just get that scary brother-in-law to collect the phones right at the door.
Top peeves among Nancy's friends include the question of whether or not to play the TV football game during dinner. Feelings run high on both sides.
And if you're signed up to bring a particular dish, that's the one to bring. Bring it complete. Your host won't have time to look for a serving dish or a little paprika.
What would you add to the list?
"It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak." – Phyllis Diller